EP Story - Worries

On this particular night, the local bar was starkly filled. The many booths were mostly empty, dotted with a person or two in every other booth, sipping on a beverage of alcohol or snacking on a bowl of stale peanuts. The ragged clock overhead the barkeep's liquor shelf read 8:49 pm. At the bar sat two men; they were obviously intoxicated and deprived of sense.

"Alright, you two," the bartender said as he approached them. "Last call. It's nearly closing time."

"I, we know, we know what time it is!" one of the men blurted while waving a beer bottle. "But, but me and… and… wh-what's your name, man?!"

"I, uh… I'm Sorius, you dick!" the other man said to him in a slur.

"Oh, yeah. W-well, what's my name?"

"You're Stieg! You're Stieg, man!" Sorius yelled as he shoved his glass of Scotch forward at him.

"Y-yeah! Stieg and, and Sorius aren't ready to go!"

"…Whatever. Make sure you pay your tab before closing time," the barkeep sternly told Stieg and Sorius.

As the bartender walked to the other end of the bar, Stieg scoffed and took a sip from his bottle. Sorius stared into his glass with distorted eyes and tried to speak clearly.

"Dude… dude, I'm having… having *hic* the best time right now. I dunno what's going on."

"Oh, man, I know," Stieg concurred. "I mean… this is awesome. Just *hic* just the guys at the… the bar. Drinking, talking… This *hic* this is what it's all about, man."

"Yeah. 'Cause we're the Bro Train!" Sorius yelled suddenly.

"Yeah, Bro Train! B-R-O… T-R-A-Y-N-E! Bro Train for the win!" Stieg shouted along with him.

Sorius spilled some of his Scotch onto the bar countertop. "Wait, wasn't there another guy with us?"

"A… another guy?"

"Yeah. I think there's *hic* three of us…"

"Three of us…?"

"Three of us…"

"You mean, there are two other me's?"

"No, a third guy, man!"

Stieg looked up in blank surprise. "Oh, yeah, I remember…"

"What was his name?"

"Um… it was, uh… something clever, I think…"

"His name was… it was Electric. Yeah, that's it."

"Good ol' Electric. I'm gonna miss him…"

"Stieg, he's not *hic*…he's not dead."

"…Then where the hell is he?"

Sorius put his hand over his forehead. "…Oh, my God. Electric…"

Stieg took his drink bottoms up and slammed it on the bar afterwards. He then let out a bellowing belch and laughed hysterically. Sorius could barely raise his glass to his mouth as he watched his friend laugh.

"Wh-what the hell's so funny?!"

"Man, I nearly threw up! That woulda been… so epic!"

"Hey dude, I just remembered… You're like… eighteen or nineteen. You can't, you shouldn't be *hic* be drinking…"

Both Sorius and Stieg started to chuckle under their alcohol-stained breaths. The bartender kept a close eye on the both of them from the other end.

"Aw, dammit, where's my fake ID you made me?" Stieg said sort of loudly.

"Shhh, I *hic* have it right here," Sorius said as he reached into his jacket pocket and slowly pulled out a scraggly slip of paper.

Stieg took it in hand and stared at it with a drunken and slurred face. "Dude, wh-what is this?! You made… you made my fake ID with a piece of paper?!"

"I tried to use my credit card, but the stupid pencil I had wouldn't… just wouldn't write…"

Stieg tried his hardest to contain his laughter. "Hee hee… we could go to jail…"

"Wonder if they'll let me take my Scotch in the cell…"

"Hey, hey, shhh! The fat guy might hear us…!"

Their attempts to smother their laughter failed miserably; everyone in the bar could hear their snickering and snorting. They caused such an uproar that the bartender had to intervene. With an irritated look on his face, he walked back over to Stieg and Sorius.

"Hey, you two. Keep it down over here or I'm gonna have to kick you out."

"Hey, yo, we wasn't even that loud over here," Sorius said with a surly mug on his face. "In fact, we didn't even… we weren't saying nothing!"

The bartender looked Sorius in the eye strangely and closely. Sorius belched and contained it in his mouth, making it seem as if he was gagging. At this the bartender stood back and observed the both of them.

"…Are you drunk, sir?"

"No!" Stieg answered quickly for Sorius.

"If you're drunk, then you don't need any more Scotch. Get your wallet out, I'm calling your tab."

"N-no, wait, I'm not drunk, I swear!" Sorius bargained. "I swear by my right hand! I'm so not drunk!"

The bartender looked at Sorius' hand as he raised it up. "Sir, that's your left hand."

"Same difference," Sorius slurred. "Now… I'm gonna need another round."

"Yeah, another *hic* beer for me, too," Stieg said. "I'm so not drunk that… that I'm not even drunk yet!"

"I'll think about it, boys," the bartender said as he grabbed a washcloth and wiped up Sorius' mess of Scotch.

After he walked away again, Sorius and Stieg sat in their seats with plastered smiles and grins. They stared at the liquor shelf behind the bar, but in reality, they stared at nothing in particular. Their vision tripped in and out of focus, but neither of them seemed to mind, let alone see it as a problem. And though their thought processes were loose, a thought spurred in Sorius' mind in an instant.

"Yo, Stieg," he said as he raised his glass to his mouth.

"What, man? I'm tryna watch TV," replied Stieg as he stared at the liquor shelf.

"…We're… we're having fun, right?"

"Yup. The bestest time ever."

"…And… and we've had lots of fun in the past, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Lots of fun."

Without further questioning, Sorius took a sip of his drink and stared at the ceiling. His eyes were suddenly somewhat focused, maybe even melancholy. It certainly surprised his friend Stieg when Sorius suddenly slammed his head on the bar countertop. Stieg jumped up instantly and looked at Sorius in shock.

"What the hell?!" Stieg yelled. "Dude, I thought you weren't drunk. 'Cause that's what you told the fat guy!"

"I'm not drunk, you drunk guy!" Sorius mumbled, still face-down. "I'm just… just thinking!"

"Thinking 'bout what?"

Sorius sat up and looked at Stieg with the dizziest eyes. "I dunno. Maybe… maybe *hic* I could think more if everything wasn't so damn weird. I mean, I see three of you!"

"Three of me?! So there is another me?!"

"Are, are you using Double Team attack?"

"Double Team?!" Stieg looked at his hands for a moment. "…Dude, are we Pokemon?!"

"…Oh, my God, I think we are!" Sorius blurted in utter surprise.

"Quick! Use, uh… use Thunderbolt!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!! I know Electric could've done this…"

"I'll use Take Down attack! Hyah!!"

Stieg's Take Down resulted in him tackling Sorius right out of his barstool, sending both of them careening to the floor in a heap. Since there weren't many people in the bar, their actions went half-unnoticed. But the bartender, now seriously upset, definitely took notice and approached Stieg and Sorius once again.

"Look, you two!" he yelled. "That's strike two! One more disturbance and you're outta here!"

Stieg looked at Sorius strangely. "…I had no idea we were playing baseball…"

"I think I was the umpire… *hic*" Sorius said in confusion.

They both climbed back up to their seats and grabbed their drinks with heavy hands. After both took mighty swallows of their drinks, Sorius went immediately back to his mellow mood.

"Anyway, like I was saying earlier…" Sorius started.

"You were saying something? When?" Stieg asked.

"I don't… I'm gettin' kinda worried, man… Y-you know why?"

"No, I don't, man. What's the matter?"

"You, you know how I got this problem? With this thing in my chest? What's it called… a heart?"

"Oh, yeah. Your heart's been tryna… tryna kill you, man…"

"Yeah. The little jerk! What'd I do to him?! I wanna punch him in the face…"

"I know how you feel, man. Like… sometimes, I can barely hear stuff… you know? Like if you say something, sometimes… I might not hear it. You know what I'm sayin'?"

"Aw, man, that's deep…"

Stieg nearly developed the same mood that Sorius was currently in. He took a heavy swig of the last of his beer, slammed the bottle on the bar, and continued his conversation with Sorius.

"And you know… I've been having some problems of my own, too, man. I don't think… I don't think I'm healthy, man…"

"That's 'cause you smoke, dude. You gotta… you gotta stop, man. The cigarettes will… they'll kill you in your sleep, man."

"No, no, no, no. No. It's not the cigs, man. I mean… I don't feel right. It's like I have one of those… things. You know. Where I might… might just drop."

"…Drop dead?"

"Yeah. Drop dead…"

"But, but not being able to hear can't kill you, man…"

"That's the other thing, man! Why don't you ever listen to me?!"

Sorius' face grew unusually sad. "…I listen to you, man."

"…I know, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, man. It's okay."

The both of them went silent for a few seconds. Eventually Sorius broke the silence with more of his worrying.

"…Like, how long do you think I'm gonna live, man?"

Stieg appeared to have gotten mad at Sorius. "Aw, man, don't start with this crap…"

"How long, man?!"

"I'm not answering you, man! You're drunk! Gimmie your keys!"

"No way! So you can leave me here?!"

"You're drunk, man! And… I'm not!"

"I can't stop thinking about it…" Sorius said with a choke in his voice. "I keep having these stupid heart attacks… what am I gonna do if I die?! I'll be dead! What am I gonna do if I'm dead?!"

"You're not gonna die! Your heart might, but you won't!"

"…That doesn't… that doesn't make any sense…"

"Shut up."

Sorius sat up in his seat and tried to be as surreal as possible. "Look, we're nearly in the same boat. Our lives are… you know… at risk."

"At risk for what?"

"…I forgot…"

"Aw, man…"

"But seriously, we probably don't have enough time left. Think of all the people we're gonna *hic* leave behind."

"Oh, yeah…"

Sorius repeatedly poked his glass while resting his head on the table. "Our friends…"

"Yup. Friends…" Stieg said along with Sorius.

"Our family…"

"Yup. Family…"

"Our girlfriends…"

Stieg immediately sat up. "…Mina…"

"…Lisa…" Sorius mumbled as he followed suit and sat up as well. The both of them looked at each other with estranged faces.

Then, for no reason at all, Stieg and Sorius started bawling. The strange thing was that they didn't produce any tears. They sat in their individual seats and leaned in, hugging each other in a sloppy manner while shouting and groaning as if they were actually crying.

"I don't wanna die!!" Sorius yelled. "I'm not gonna get to see Lisa!"

"You're not gonna die, man!!" Stieg yelled along with him. "Even if you do, we're gonna, we're gonna *hic* have the biggest bestest funeral for you!"

"I don't wanna funeral! I don't wanna die!"

"You won't die, man!"

"I don't want you to die either, man!!"

Stieg remembered his condition at that instant and "cried" even harder. "Aw, man, I'm gonna die!!"

"No, you're not!! We're gonna find Death and… and we're gonna kill him! We're gonna kill him good!"

"'Cause we're the Bro Train, right?!"

"Bro Train! B-R-O, uh, T-R-A-Y-N-E! Bro Train, dammit!!"

Stieg then let go of Sorius and leaned back. Suddenly his sad emotions were gone. Sorius leaned back as well, but he was apparently still sad. Stieg's face began to ebb into a smile.


"Hey, wait… I'm not gonna *hic* die. Me and, and Shaolin are getting an operation. I'm not gonna die!"

"…You lucky bastard…" Sorius mumbled as he grabbed his glass once again.

"Hey, shut up, man," Stieg slurred. "Claris gave you some pills, right?"

"Who's Claris?"

"…I dunno."

"Alright, that's enough out of both of you," the bartender said from behind Stieg and Sorius. They both turned around and leaped out of their barstools at the sound of his voice. From the ground they looked up at him with the upmost fear. The bartender stared back at them and shook his head.

"It's nearly closing time. I'm putting your bill right here. Pay up, call a cab or a friend, and get the hell out."

Sorius stood up and stumbled numerous times while pointing indirectly at the bartender. Stieg grabbed onto Sorius' coattail as he dragged himself up off the floor as well.

"Fine… if that's what you w-want…" Sorius said to him while trying to sound tough. "We'll get outta here. See if we come back to this… crap shack you call a bar!"

"Yeah!" Stieg yelled as he continuously lost and gained his footing. "And lemme tell you something, man! Your beer tastes like… like… water!"

"Yeah, yeah," the bartender retaliated. "If neither one of you pulls out your wallet soon, I'm gonna lay the smackdown on you two!"

"There's no need for that, barkeep."

At the front door stood Static, wearing a disappointed frown on his face. Sorius and Stieg turned around and presented Static with the most surprised and wasted face expressions Static had ever seen.

"Oh, my God, it's Electric!!!" both Stieg and Static exclaimed. They ran to Static in a messy fashion, often diverting into different directions. Sorius crashed into a booth table once before finally reaching Static.

"…Who the hell is Electric?" Static asked them. "Have you idiots been making up names for me again?!"

"What? Making up names?" Stieg said while clinging to Static's collar. "Me? Come. On. Dude! I would never!" Stieg's breath blew into Static's face repeatedly as he spoke, and the putrid stench of the alcohol nearly made Static vomit.

"…Guys, you're drunk," Static said as he shoved Stieg away from him.

"That's, that's what the bartender said!" Sorius said. "You two must be related or something!!"

Static left Sorius and Stieg at the door and walked up to the bartender. "I hope these clowns weren't too much of a hassle."

"You came just in time, sir," the bartender said. "You here to pick them up?"

"Yeah, and don't worry about the bill. I'll pay it."

"You're gonna get your money back, right?"

"Oh, yeah." Static looked behind and glanced at Sorius and Stieg fooling around at the front door. "Those two are gonna give me the money they owe me."

"Alright, then," the bartender said as he accepted Static's money. "You have a good night, sir. Drive safely."

"Thanks a lot, man," Static replied as he walked back towards Stieg and Sorius, who were busy lying on the floor and making strange noises.

"Get up, you two," Static said. "We're going home. I'll let your women handle you."

"But I'm still thirsty," Sorius said with a sort of whine.

"Yeah, me too," Stieg agreed. "We, I haven't even had enough to drink! I only had—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Stieg immediately vomited all over the floor. Sorius was alerted by the sudden burst of puke that Stieg produced; the sight of it produced a feeling in Sorius that caused him to also vomit a puddle onto the floor. Static's stomach churned and he groaned in annoyance.

"…I knew I was gonna be sick…" Stieg mumbled. "I freakin' knew it…"

Static looked back at the bartender uneasily. The bartender looked back at Static with a disgruntle aura. Static knew what was coming next. He looked at Sorius and Stieg moan and crawl through the mass puddle of vomit on the floor, all the while fighting an urge to punch them. Walking toward the bar again, he gritted his teeth and looked the bartender right in the eye.

"…Alright, dammit, where's the mop? I'll clean it up…"